It's been too long.

It's been far too long since I've posted here! But I've been busy.
Busy finishing the first draft of my second novel, "Golden".
And now, busy reading through the entire thing for the first time, editing and preparing for my second draft. My read-through was a bit rocky at first; the first quarter of the book begins a bit slowly, which is where I need to do most of my work. But the last three quarters of the novel have flown by, just like a real, published book (in my opinion, at least!). I'm so excited to bring it to life. And I'm excited to send it off to a few amazing friends and family who have offered to read and critique it for me.

80,000.

This morning I reached 80,000 words!
Long enough to be a real, published novel.
I'm so close to finished and I'm feeling excellent about this story.
I'm ready to get it done and whipped into perfectly edited shape and sent off to potential agents (where I'm sure it will get ripped apart, but hey, that's how it works in this business, right?)

So...any grammar-nazis out there who are willing to edit for free? ;)

Stuck.

I'm so close to finishing this story I can practically taste it, but today I've barely been able to write a paragraph. Literally; I've only kept two of the sentences I managed to create this afternoon.
I'm not sure if I'm distracted with other things or if I'm in some way afraid of completing this first draft (I've really grown to love my characters and hate to leave them) and am unconsciously stalling.
Things just aren't happening today. And every time I try to force it (you know, the "just type for a set number of minutes or hours" thing) I feel like what I end up with isn't true to the voice of the story.
So it's break time now. I'll come back to it tomorrow; hopefully with a fresh, revitalized perspective.

My first acceptance letter.

I did it!
I received my first acceptance letter from one of the four MFA programs where I applied. And I must say, it feels like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders to know that at least one school thinks my writing is strong enough for their program.
For me, that was the biggest fear I had going into the application process: that my writing wasn't good enough. And it's scary because writing is subjective. What if the subject matter of my writing sample rubs someone the wrong way? That could be the difference between being admitted or rejected.
I love writing and I've always felt that I'm a strong writer but I've never really felt like I had any concrete proof that other people see me as a good writer. I've received constructive criticism in writing workshops but let's face it, it's hard to find someone who's willing to be completely blunt and honest in critiquing another person's passion.
So there have been some panicky moments when I think, "What if I'm a terrible writer and no one has the guts to tell me? What if I'm hoping to have a career in a field where my skills just aren't good enough?"
It's nerve-racking.
Right now, I'm a little reassured to know that my writing skills were good enough for one school, at least. It's pretty nice to think that other people sat down, read my stuff and said, "This girl's got what it takes for our program". I'm hoping to receive positive responses from the three other schools I applied at as well, but for now, one is enough to boost my confidence in my writing abilities.

An excerpt.

As you know, the first few paragraphs of a piece of fiction are crucial. You've got to draw your audience in, obviously, or no one will want to keep reading. I don't always do a great job with that, but here's an example of one of my best opening paragraphs. This is from my first novel-length piece, which I'm currently editing and revising. Let me know what you think! Would you keep reading? 

"She has blue eyes. Not sky blue and not sapphire blue but blue like the water in the deepest crevices of the oceans. That murky, near-black liquid that seeps between coral reefs and offers concealment for vile creatures. Blue like the deep abyss that you don’t even know exists until suddenly you’re yanked down into it, where the world is ice cold and unforgiving, and that deep blue water, it’s choking you, and every time you try to take a deep breath you suck more water down through your nose, and every time you open your mouth wide to scream it floods your throat. It fills your nostrils, your mouth, your lungs until the tiny blood vessels in the whites of your eyes explode, and you sink down into the depths of that black-blue abyss forever.

She has blue eyes, like the woman who’s hidden in my basement cellar, bound with razor wire."

    

Revise.

Do you know what the hardest part of writing is, for me? Revising.
It always has been.
I have no trouble cranking out a first draft. Luckily, I never really struggle with "writer's block". And it feels so good getting the words out onto the page; shaping the story I've created in my head into a block of text.
But revising is tough. Revising makes me doubt myself. I read through a paragraph I thought was amazing as I was writing it and suddenly, it seems only mediocre.
Revising gets me down, sometimes. But that probably means that it's the part of the writing process I need to work on most.
I've been told that questioning your own work is a mark of a good writer. Let's hope that's true.

Fiction writers.

Writing has been treating me exceptionally well for the past week. My novel is coming along again! However, when it comes to this blog writing stuff, right now I've got nothin'. 

So, I leave you with one of my favorite quotes about fiction writers. I'm not sure about you, but I think this often fits me perfectly.

"Fiction writers as a species tend to be oglers. They tend to lurk and to stare. They are born watchers. They are viewers. They are the ones on the subway about whose nonchalant stare there is something creepy, somehow. Almost predatory. This is because human situations are writers' food. Fiction writers watch other humans sort of the way gapers slow down for car wrecks: they covet a vision of themselves as witnesses." - David Foster Wallace, "E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction".